What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize