she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
