cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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