I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize