I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
