summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
