just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
