No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
where are my eyebrows?
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