everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sext me about skeletons
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
