Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
