Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
