I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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