some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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