Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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