I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
