Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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