Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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