I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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