So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
