he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
