You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
