Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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