Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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