I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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