1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
