if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
