if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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