Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
