So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
