brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wish I could teleport
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
