I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
