She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
