I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
