Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
