Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
this is an emotional support booty call
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