His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
