found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize