can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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