everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
