quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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