I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
