normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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