U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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