after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
