my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
