Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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