that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
