I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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