question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
