she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
