the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize