You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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