As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
