The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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