It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
