New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
